Thursday, January 15, 2015


Sometimes your Blessings are hiding in the Shadows

Even life coaches seek inspiration from other channels. I am a person that believes that we all have a purpose and with this in mind, I am reminded of a quote by Steve Harvey, “Your career is what you are paid form, your calling is what you were made for.” Many spend a lifetime searching for the meaning of their existence.  They work in jobs that they hate, live where they don’t want to, stay in relationships that should have been abandoned years before but because of the fear of change or taking ownership for the path they will travel, would prefer to live in a life of unhappiness. These are interesting times that we are living in. What was once considered the norm that found a person entering a company and spending his or her entire life there,  now finds multiple career changes and in many instances, such change is not at the hand of the person. Because of the impact of this past economic slow-down, we have now been re-cultured to embrace the fact that if we are displaced, the next position will inherently pay less. Why do we have to embrace this notion? The answer resides in fear. The reality is, the older all of us get the more likely we are to accept less than what our value is. What if we turned periods of transitions into opportunities to place ourselves in industries that we would truly want to work. In this instance, taking less would be justifiable because our happiness has a value. Maybe it is time to seek employment in a geographical location that you have always dreamed about.

A story: Many years ago I had a close friend. She was a product of the 1960’s and truly followed the mantra of “Sex, Drugs, and Rock-and-Roll.” By the time she was twenty, she had already had four abortions and was addicted to heroin. The path she was on, would have certainly led her to an early grave. From the shadows came her inspiration. My friend met and married a well-known drummer from a famous band. Her dream was to always live in Maui and the drummer’s resources and his “like” desire to live there as well allowed the dream to come to fruition. Sadly, the drummer died suddenly but my friend realized that in this place called Maui, she was able to escape her demons and found happiness. It was not too long after her husband’s death that she found the true love of her life. He was a simple man who made a living in the contracting field. Along with her modest salary, the two were able to continue to live the dream and the dream is still alive and well and living in Hawaii today. I guess the moral of the story is, don’t confuse happiness with wealth. Of course we all want to be in a place where money issues are no issue but for most, this is simply not a feasible reality. I feel many of us don’t give happiness the respect it deserves. At times we are seeking that stress driven heart attack to be delivered on a silver platter - why is this? The answer resides in wanting to keep up with the Jones, the way we were nurtured, or any legitimate reason that causes us to make choices that often impact our health.

As we forward in 2015, maybe it is time to reset the compass. If you are spiritual, give thanks for what you do have that most of us often take for granted. If you are young, take heed and redirect your five year personal strategic plan to place you on a path that true life-work balance can be achieved. I speak from experience that it took me a lifetime to become a wise old man yet, you have the opportunity to be a smart young man or woman. Work hard, but don’t let the job and/or money bring you to a place that you hate getting up in the morning or worse yet, hate going to work. A wise person once said, “If you enjoy what you are doing, you will never worked a day in your life,” I hold these words to be true. For 2015, commit to forgetting your personal cell phone at home at least one day a week, never take it out at dinner (FaceBook can wait), and if you are in a relationship date night is mandatory. Also consider actually sitting down and writing a friend a letter - not an email-a letter! Besides blowing the person’s mind, he or she may pay it forward. This is the impact of change. Imagine if twenty years from now, you were the person that saved 100,000 jobs because you reverted back to using the postal service. Finally, spend a little more time stopping and appreciating the world around you, spend time with your kids and relatives, and never forget to tell the ones that mean the most to you, that you love them.

Until next time much love and peace.

Dr. Spencer L. Gaines offers in person coaching in the greater Jacksonville, Florida area as well virtual, phone, and chat coaching - simply click on this link "Click Here to Speak to Dr. Gaines Now" You are more than welcome to email me at

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